Sunday, October 26, 2014

Celebrations

In 2008 we went to New York to celebrate my parent's fiftieth wedding anniversary.

We had a wonderful time. I wish I remembered more beyond the fact that I accidentally turned my hair orange.

Jimmy said "Thank God it's almost Halloween." and the private jokes about the carpet not matching the drapes.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Event horizon

Rehearsal BBQ  11.1.13
While I was driving through the dark this morning to spend the day with my grandson a very fine piece of music came on the radio and ahead, the horizon started showing signs of blue as I drove into the sunrise, still an hour away. Everyone else was heading in the other direction, headlights blazing. I was grateful for my life on a handful of levels all at once
.
I had a birthday the other day. It's the last of the special days, the holidays to pass since we lost Jimmy. A day does not go by that I don't miss him and cry, but then I stop myself and remember how, whenever I thanked him for something – and the opportunities to do so were endless – he would say “My pleasure” and I got to thinking how he honestly took great pleasure in making me happy; doing little things for me, bringing me unexpected treats, little, simple and inexpensive but so full of thought and consideration.
No matter what you believe, or not, about an afterlife, I know that our lost loved ones live on in our hearts and we owe it to their lasting, loving memories to take pleasure in the smallest things that we can still experience. To love life.


As I appreciate that coming dawn, smell the fresh morning air, and hold Charlie cuddled close I know that everything and every moment that I cherish, is a result of the life and love that I spent with Jimmy. A long time ago I wrote that “...after all, his heartbeat is mine too.” My pleasure is still his.


So, those of you who might find yourself alone and in despair, find small ways to be good to yourself and take pleasure in life. Your darlings would have it no other way.






Tuesday, October 14, 2014

just another day

I think everyone pays less and less attention to birthdays as time goes on. We sure tried to.

When you have everything you need and most of  what you  want on a daily basis, it's hard to answer that perennial question, "What do you want for your birthday?" We both invariably said things like "tires!" or "work boots" and then came up with sweet things like tickets to a Braves game or some new music or book.

Last year my gift was getting home to see that Jim had come down from his sitting room and was getting himself some fresh air and sunshine because I had been bugging him to do so. It was all he could muster and it meant the world to me right then. Still does.



He also got me the best greeting cards and made a point of getting both a sincere one and a funny one.

I'm thinking about the funny ones today. I know the jokes about being officially *O*L*D* would be as rich and full of love as the sentimental ones. As long as we have been together,I have been blessed to be his old lady.