Tuesday, December 31, 2013

some direction

I went to bed and cried myself to sleep last night. It happens some days and I just roll with it and wake up looking like I've been mugged. This whole "Happy New Year" thing has left me cold as a bucket of clams.

All the empty hours of my day couldn't tempt me to do anything fruitful. Instead I kept fretting over the future, a pastime that only breeds deeper anxiety. I remember whining to myself "I don't know what to do" without ever even making a list of options. It was a full blown pity party.

After a few hours I woke up and, like the majority of the civilized world, groped for my phone and tried to bring my blurry vision into close focus. Six something but there, under the time, was a little icon that I had forgotten about. 

It was a little tarot app that I hadn't even fooled with since I installed it months ago when Jimmy first gave me the phone. He had to buy this smart phone for his last job and used it two weeks but was so frustrated with it that as soon as he could, he bought a straight forward flip phone and a small digital camera and I gleefully inherited his *$%@! "Stupid phone". 

I poked at the tarot icon and there were several options but the one I wanted was the single card draw - I call it the signpost - a great learning tool and the only real spiritual practice I've had for many years.

The Queen of Wands floated onto the screen and I didn't have to read the description to know that my Angel had answered my question..not what I should do but how I should do it. Boldly. Thank you sweetheart. I will stay tuned. 

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