Friday, March 28, 2014

halved

    Twice in the space of a few minutes I have been moved to tears. Maybe because it's been a few days and I have been full of myself lately.

A dear long distance friend addressed me as Mrs. Lacativa, a title and honor that I will always cherish. Then, someone made a reference to the movie "Gladiator". That one, and "Braveheart" were two of Jimmy's favorites;  movies about heroes, love, family, honor and courage, things that were so dear to him.

 Fresh tears and  I am left wondering what becomes of the one who is left when the better half, the best half goes away.  He wanted me to be bold but being bold when no one who matters is looking feels self serving and crazy.  I can do crazy, but is it good for me? Does it serve?

When he knew it was me calling he would answer the phone "This is Jim. How may I serve you?"  It just occurred to me now that I could have quipped "well done" but I never did because he meant it.

4 comments:

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

he's the one we had all hoped
to find.
you Did.
and he let you.

Deb said...

thank you grace

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

i've kept thinking about this.
asking self...am i/was i ever,
made of That Stuff that can love
like this?

and i really think i was and could
have. i really think i had what
it takes. but it wasn't to be
for me.

but i find such great pleasure and
satisfaction looking at these
photographs. seeing what i was
pretty sure could Be, but never
saw, really....
so i look at them. a long time.
each one. soaking in their stories. they are really so
beauty Full. and if you can ever come to think of it that way, you and Jimmy were SO incredibly lucky.

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

what did he mean by
bold?

not asking for an answer, just
asking the question out loud...

what did he mean by bold?